Relationship Timeline: Falling in Love with Yourself.

Relationship Timeline: Falling in Love with Yourself.

Ah, February. We remember you! You’re that time of year when we’re inundated with heart shaped boxes of chocolates, cards with sweet nothings, and attention to all things L.O.V.E.

Can you still picture your third grade classroom decked out with pink and red hearts? Do you remember spending hours on your shoebox valentine collector and daydreaming about your crush slipping in a boy-band themed valentine? We do!

The notion of what February means starts from a young age. We are taught that Love is something that is reciprocated and sometimes, you have to wait around for it to knock on your door. (Or slip through your shoebox). However, wouldn’t it be so much more gratifying if we could take Love into our own hands, quite literally?

Regardless of your current or desired relationship status, self-love is so much more powerful and impactful because it affects every single thing you do and the way you operate in your life.

Easier said than done, we know.

Loving yourself is an ongoing practice that requires grace, flexibility, and self-forgiveness. True love for yourself does not have to be a fairytale, despite the expectations we may have for Love. In fact, it’s more powerful when it’s messy because you can appreciate the ups and downs and commend yourself for the resilience you show.

You might be wondering, “where do I even start?” Let’s break it down into a relationship timeline.

The Meet Cute. Just like the iconic gloves in the movie, Serendipity, take a moment to create your own “meet cute.” On a piece of paper, write down five qualities about yourself that you are proud of. Maybe it’s that you are a loyal friend, a great cook, or a good listener. By identifying these qualities, you are attracting that good energy and taking yourself out of your body to appreciate who you are. Now, introduce yourself in the mirror. Say, “I’m me, and I am a…” (Insert your five amazing qualities that make you, YOU.)

The First Date. Think of this whole month as the “first date.” Carve out time to spend with yourself. Enjoying your own company is so important! It makes you stronger in your relationships and gives you space to continue to learn and grow. Need some “first date” ideas? Make yourself a nourishing meal filled with whole foods. Pamper yourself by taking a hot shower with an essential oil steamer, followed by a facemask. Move your body by going on a solo walk while listening to your favorite Spotify playlist. The more you can make these actions a ritual, the more you will be able to build upon your self-love.

The Definition. “What are we?” may be the dreaded question in a new relationship. Often times, we’re comparing our own relationship to others, prompting an uneasiness about our status. However, when it comes to self-love, it’s important to knock down the comparison game. It doesn’t matter how others love themselves or appear to love themselves on social media. This is about YOU. You don’t need someone to approve, define, or certify your self-love. At times, you may imagine that you have to do everything a certain way, and that’s not the case with self-love.  There are no rules. Loving yourself is a mindset. It’s a state of being.

The Commitment. This is where unconditional love for yourself comes into play. Think about the person you love the most in your life. Would you love them if they changed their career? Would you love them if they decided a relationship in their life wasn’t serving them anymore? Would you love them if they were struggling to reach their health goals? Of course you would! Now, reverse the roles and insert yourself in that position. Just as you would love that person and support them through whatever hurdle they’re trying to overcome, love yourself in that same way. This is unconditional self-love - the kind that is lifelong.

We are here to acknowledge loving yourself is not always easy. If it were, we wouldn’t be facing the serious mental health challenges we do as a society. However, just like any goal, we encourage you to start small and stay consistent.

We believe in you. 

Here’s to self-love!

xoxo - Mel and Mel

Photography Melissa Coulier